Growing Through Childhood Trauma

Anyone who's cared for a plant knows it needs water and sunlight to thrive, or else it withers. Beyond these basics, some plants require extra attention: pruning, feeding, repotting. It's often said that the more love you give your plants, the better they flourish.

So, what do plants have to do with childhood trauma? Well, nothing, really. But let me share a recent experience. I was having one of those tough days that just seem hard, no matter what. To cope, I decided to repot my plants. It was straightforward until I got to a plant that has special meaning for me—it was a gift after my brother passed away six years ago.

This plant has been with me from California to Tennessee, surviving against the odds. While tending to it, I realized I had been neglecting it without meaning to. Its roots had burst through the pot, tangled and gnarled, and I found myself carefully untangling them, almost like surgery. There was no sign of neglect from the outside.

That's when it dawned on me: all my life, I've been trying to grow through adversity. I've been laying down roots and striving to shine despite the pain and trauma from my past. It's always been easier to act like everything's fine, mastering self-control and striving for perfection. But it's a stressful way to live, and eventually, even the strongest branch can break under too much pressure.

The experience of trauma and adverse life events during childhood has been shown to have widespread consequences for psychological and physical health. A range of traumatic stressors, including sexual abuse, physical abuse, exposure to violence, parental substance abuse, and neglect, have not only been linked to greater risk of mental health disorders, including PTSD, and depression but also to physical health outcomes, such as cancer, liver disease, respiratory disease and, in particular, the development of cardiovascular disease. (McMahon, G., Griffin, S. M., Borinca, I., Bradshaw, D., Ryan, M., & Muldoon, O. T. (2024)

I understand that the difficulties I'm facing won't last forever. I recognize that the trauma I experienced wasn't my fault, nor was it my parents'. HURT people hurt PEOPLE. One day, I hope to learn their story.

We all have a story to tell. A hurt to heal. I'm here to listen, I'm here to share.